How Gay Pride Paved My Path To Recovery

How Gay Pride Paved My Path To Recovery

My first Gay Pride celebration was when I moved to NYC in 1998.  I remember going to the parade and having this overwhelming sense of belonging that I often struggled with as a child and teenager.  I longed to feel like a part of a community of likeminded individuals that wanted to celebrate life as our authentic selves.   

This year is when I came to accept my sexual orientation as something to celebrate instead of something that I needed to hide behind and be ashamed of. For an entire week there were dances, celebrations, parties, marches, art exhibitions and advocacy supporting LGBTQI+ individuals.  

I remember there was a feeling of inclusion, acceptance, joy, pride, belonging that I will never forget. It was also around 1998 when my alcohol and drug addiction was starting to have an impact on my life.   I started using crystal meth this year and two years later I became HIV Positive as a result of my substance use disorder.  Being both gay and HIV positive I began to lose hope of living a fulfilling, joyous and impactful life. In 2016 I decided to get help, just before my addiction killed me, I had the gift of desperation. 

It was in treatment where I began to feel worthy of self-love and acceptance of my sexuality and HIV status.  Over the course of the next few years, I began a journey of self-love, healing and acceptance. I started attending LGBTQ 12-Step meetings, meeting others in recovery and ways to engage in sober activities and it was here that I was introduced to Sober Gay Pride events in 2018.  Much to my dismay I had no idea the number of sober individuals in recovery that attended pride.   Their was a sense of community within the community. 

I realized that I can have just as much fun (probably more fun) sober then when I used substances. This year I will be attending NYC Pride for the first time since the pandemic. We have so much to celebrate this year after being quarantined for nearly 2 years.  I was asked to drive a float this year in the parade for a Dr. that does TOP surgeries for individuals that have gender dysphoria and want to feel more in alignment with their gender. As a result of my sobriety I get to play a small part in this amazing event supporting our community.

I feel that this year is especially important for me to participate in Pride to show my support of our community, activist and leaders. 

The LGBTQI+ community is facing challenges, obstacles and setbacks related to gender identity, gay marriage, healthcare, schooling and so much more. I can’t wait to participate in NYC Pride this year as a Sober Gay Man that stands for unity and inclusion for the LGBTQI community.